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Morning by morning

10/1/2016

2 Comments

 
Picture
Made Thursday morning, 29 September 2016 -- what would have been Tal's 90th birthday.
Today, two weeks ago, Tal greeted his last morning. The last one in 90 years, minus a mere 12 days. We had known each other some 28 years, four months. We had been married 26 years, 30 days. Mornings, my mornings, will never be the same. The keeping count somehow helps.
 
​Morning by morning I get up and greet not only the new light but an empty house. I walk the daily 10,000 steps, go through my exercise routine, make myself eat, tend the paperwork lapping at my little shore, convince myself to run essential errands. Morning by morning the world goes on. Morning by morning a bit of myself does, too -- goes on. But, I have to admit wondering what the point is. Since an absolutely essential part of my life is gone.

​But, morning by morning something invites me to be grateful for Tal, for the life we shared, for the grief his absence is visiting on me. I am strangely glad for the profound physical sadness that very nearly, and repeatedly, knocks me off my feet. The discomfort is meaningful. Remembering is dear.

​Morning by morning.  Morning by morning I am sad. 
2 Comments
Lyn Simensen
10/2/2016 10:49:44 am

Holding you in our hearts and prayers as you are on this journey. Wishing you a peace as you walk each day!

Reply
Ginny Woodruff
10/3/2016 03:07:03 am

Dearest Janet, We are praying for comfort and peace as you walk this difficult journey. You are loved and cherished by all who know you. Tal was, and will always be, a blessing in our lives. May God wrap his arms around you and allow you increasing moments of joy in remembering special moments you shared. I believe there is much left for you to do in this world.

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    For most of my 60 years I have let the question "what is this all about?" dwell somewhere in my being -- in the forefront at times, frequently banished to the depths. It's persistent, that question.

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