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In the forming fog

8/1/2014

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It has been so long since I have contributed anything to this page.  I cannot come up with an easy reason for my inactivity.  It has not been merely a blog  that has suffered neglect of late.  A multitude of normal activities have fallen by the wayside this summer -- using the camera every day, keeping up with email, note writing.  It feels as though every aspect of my life is in limbo or has been/is on hiatus. 

Maybe that's neither a bad thing or totally unexpected.  We all need a change of pace.  And, summer is a wonderful time to mix things up.  I have to admit, though, that whatever it is that's happened to my schedule hasn't been planned.  The crumpling of my daily structure simply happened about half way through July.  I'm in something of a fog. 

As I consider my state here at the beginning of a new month, I can acknowledge that Tal and I have been up against pressures we've not faced before.  Tal is involved in three times a week physical and occupational therapy (which, while not magic, is making a difference).  I have been involved in three funerals over the course of five weeks (two of them tragic).  I am not keeping up with the housework.  Meals are in the category of the best I can do.  The outside mowing, blowing, sweeping, edging, trimming stays just ahead of me.

Yesterday we traveled to rural Lee County to visit Tal's sister who is selling the "old home place" and moving to Nevada to live with her son and his family.  We came home with cuttings from mature camellias she had nurtured from cuttings Tal gave her some 25 years ago.  A returning.  The cycle of life.  Isn't it wonderful? 

The photograph here is of those cuttings on our kitchen counter.  I made newspaper pots this afternoon.  Tal mixed up a fragrant soil concoction.  A Corning ware casserole and a lovely glass salad bowl we don't use for salads much have been turned into a kitchen counter greenhouse .  It's already begun to fog up a bit.

There's going to be quite a lot going on under the surface ...  And, so it goes.  Life under the surface.  I have to trust that to be true for me as well.  While I might not get it together in some orderly way or return to life as it was at the beginning of summer, there is something happening under my surface that will enrich the coming days, weeks and months.  What it will be remains a mystery.
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    For most of my 60 years I have let the question "what is this all about?" dwell somewhere in my being -- in the forefront at times, frequently banished to the depths. It's persistent, that question.

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